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10 days to go...

May. 1st, 2008 | 05:46 pm

I am actually so worried that that cunt Johnson will get his hands on my home that I cannot work. Fuck keats, refresh The Times' live election
blog. I have been trying to write essay plans and they all come back to politics. dammit.

fuck fucking personality politics, Londonpaper.com comments 'boris is the one for cool young dudes like myself', 'boris is just so likable'

vote. and if you decide to back someone who opposed the minimum wage, will scrap affordable housing and the congestion charge and who backed section 28, then feel free, but be prepared never to speak to me again.

the guardian seems to be the most depressing. so many people quoted saying they voted boris just because they oppose the congestion charge.

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Wanted: knowledge on rochester and Behn

Apr. 16th, 2008 | 06:06 pm

Hi Livejournal, or rather the Oxford English student segment thereof

I have realised my restoration paper is really quite weak, or at least, that I only have 2.5 topics I'm confident on- so I want to do Rochester and Behn in more depth- linking Rochester's general satire with Swift's and his stuff on sex and impropriety with Behn and some lesser known women and again Swift. I so far only now them as background to other people, but I want to pad that out so that I have a spectrum to draw from and thus can pick nice questions. Really don't have time to absorb and filter a whole new topic, so it's more a case of doing a couple of things in depth and skimming the rest.

I know at least three of you expressed adoration of the man, and two of the woman in question last year, so cough up, s'il vous plait. I desire your quotations and notes and maybe even essays. thanks will be offered in forms too outrageous to be expressed in earthly language.

Quick is nice, so that it can be slotted into my restoration revision week. essays and notes appreciated. I need some ideas to jump off, and you are all wonderful springboards of joy.

also- hello! I am still alive. five weeks and I am done. It is a shame. I love this place. it is filled with so much awesome that my main source of distress in my time here has been my inability to engage with enough of the different forms and styles it comes in. I am even enjoying (some aspects of) revision. (namely, the bits I shouldn't spend so much time on). You may not notice this (or me) because I am now in the trade of accumulating daylight hours and stuffing them into a library. The hour between 7am and 8am exists, people- I have seen it with my own eyes! I have been productive within its confines!

see you in five weeks- if you see someone that looks like me before then, it is not, but an imposter known as Revizor. She is dangerous, prone to snapping, sleeping, and asking what time you got to the library that morning with affected indifference. Stay away! At 12.30 on tuesday May 20th I predict her downfall. come celebrate.

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Re: laysionship

Mar. 10th, 2008 | 05:25 pm
location: Botley
mood: chipperchipper
music: chip chip chip.

I seem to have pretty much moved in with someone I met three weeks ago. I seem to be far too happy for a finalist. I seem to be far too happy for me. He has a job and motivation and stuff which gets me up in the morning and doing things, meaning the previous two sentences could be rewritten with 'functional' replacing happy. You could also try 'awake' but that might begin to be bordering on pushing it. and since it also has a worse rhythm, I really wouldn't bother.

I seem to almost have 6,000 words and still more than 12 hours til the deadline.

Funny thing, life, its working out seems to have absolutely nothing to do with such minor factors as effort or logic.

Apologies for missing OULES play and party. Was hyper-worried about work and thus working and worrying til show was long-finished, then whilst moving through bops and pubs towards you I was suddenly and unexpectedly drunk and sleepy and then woke up in snuggly bed. It was both un- and fortunate.

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(no subject)

Mar. 4th, 2008 | 09:00 am


damn, damn, useless degree means not qualified to go on 2 month district overseer contract to Africa. Or, in fact, to do any such similar work I like the sound of. Want social science or economics or equivalent. Want muchly. shit artsy degree. waste. gah. maybe get experience on internship and convince them am amazing in own right. cool. a plan.

also. anyone clicking above link might be able to tell me why when I attempt to embed their link image by copying code as am told to and have done before it worketh not. [edit- have sorted manually]

the job I like the look of is the programme officer 2 month contract in Tanzania, found about halfway down here.

off to prepare CV rather than writing extended essay. yay.

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I am completely serious

Dec. 29th, 2007 | 12:41 am

A prize to the person that can make me care about my degree again.

I don't mean the work, I love work, just not the right work. I am reading things that interest me, not things that will be useful.

Most importantly, I have a thesis to do, everyone else is stressing, but I don't care. I don't even know what the word count is supposed to be. I have done no reading. I have 8 days to have a first draft.

Slightly less importantly, I have paper 8 to read for, and a vac essay to do, Oh, and I've not sat an exam since Mods, never got over 68 in a paper, and I can't keep things in my head coz of the CFS (seriously, I know I did 8 hours work yesterday, but I can't even recall the topic).

even less importantly, a very good friend who is doing art at St Martin's and is really very good, and a massive manga and comic-buff is interested in doing a big, ambitious black and white project with lots of cityscapes and big ideas and battles. This fits rather well with an idea I've been carrying around in my head for a year or so, about a spaceship and systems and society and violence. He has asked for some character and story outlines so we can talk about styles and shapes and stuff, so whilst in the British library for four hours today, rather than reading articles from Studies in Science Fiction, I was playing with backstories and scene orders and the physical properties of a self-contained centuries-old space-city with no new (or rather, no unfeasable) technology (aside from it's engines and (broken)gravity system- why don't comics and novels and non-actor-dependent mediums play with gravity more, it's so cool) .
I'm taking the simple shape of the story and certain parts of the characters from Marlowe's Tamburlaine the great p1, but not in a way that would be recognisable unless I told you, or you noticed the daughter was called Zenocrate- At the moment, although I think opening with the chase scene (nice big scene-setting), fight (yay violence) and death-in-childbirth of his lover (yay emotions) and the oratory in which he convinces an army not to kill his group, but to join them (yay tamburlaine, yay hero-establishment!) is good, but should we first have a scene explaining the local power-struggle which the revolution will make meaningless?... there simply isn't going to be time to build it up enough to give it's fall meaning if we wait too long, but on the other hand, it would suck to open on old men and women talking...

I have just spent another 30 minutes writing and deleting and writing and deleting another few more interesting quandries in more detail, but the essence is clear- future projects interest me- this comic, doing a TEFL course and earning money whilst travelling, road tripping in America (I've found an online job I could do while over there to help pay my way and I have garnered a few more contacts, leaving very few major cities I couldn't visit rent-free) and my getting a morning-shift coffee-shop job and then spending every afternoon in the british library for a month, reading anything I fucking feel like...

but the next 6 months... I don't even want to think about. Not in a fear way, just in a dull way.

So- a prize (nature unspecified, but value guaranteed) to the one who gets me to feel fear or ambition or simply instils a work ethic in me once more.

if I don't work tomorrow, I'm not coming to VOLES, so get moving.

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(no subject)

Oct. 20th, 2007 | 05:51 pm

The World Question centre is awesome. genuine insights into things and stuff. A lot of scientists, artists, and general thinking types were asked 'what's your formula?' and their answers vary from advanced physics to formulas for love, happiness, more happiness, the structure of society and the effect selection has on thinking.

none, even the ones I don't understand or don't quite agree with, are dull.

read some. I want to talk to you about them.

Also, my flatmate is angry at me for waking her up at 5am. Since I came home before 2, drunk, and don't remember that event (or coming home) I am puzzled. Apparently I said nothing - I just scrabbled at her door handle and by the time she got up and unlocked it, had turned back to go to my room and wouldn't respond. Answers on a postcard.

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(no subject)

Oct. 14th, 2007 | 10:56 am

I sometimes wonder whether my head is just made differently than other women's. I am offended by both the prose style and content of f-word blog when I wander over there-

Bill Hicks explains my point of view perfectly in the first minute here. The honesty about sex is also cool, we will never escape objectification (it's the only reason I watch rugby), so why not just say it aloud and fucking deal with it? it is also, of course, the best comedian ever born on top form.

On the other hand, I've liked a few of the F-word's articles, though they do read like academics who want to reference and footnote so hard it hurts. Also, I respect those feminist blogs that realise the point is to get angry about the fact that idiots are being heard, not about the inevitable fact that there are idiots around. Feministing ends a few articles with variants on "Yes, this shit actually gets coverage." However, it is giving that shit more coverage.
also, I agree that social constructs bind us, and gender ones can be particularly annoying. Despite having gone to and loathed a girls school, I do believe in separate education like this. It's the quickest way I can think of to circumvent the millenia-old subtle stereotypes that are quietly ingrained in us and that kids instinctively submit to. Note these enlightened kids do actually want to be actresses and dancers sometimes, and are concerned with being fat. at 7.

What scares and sickens me is not that girls are more likely to be banned from violent games, but the epidemic of violent rape in the Congo, the adultery and divorce laws of Iran, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, honour killings. I want to be there, with money and medicine and safe-houses. I don't want shakespeare criticism using 'male' and 'female' interchangably with 'self' and 'other' , calling the social order patriarchy (of course it was one, in the same was as it was part aristocracy and part theocracy) and calling disorder/festivity/misrule femininity or female-originated and gaining nothing from it.

what's amusing is that I had intended to write some stuff on the beautiful things I'd found around, like this, this and this and about how happy I've been, and how that happiness is based on my still having but being able to deal with the exhaustion and the paranoia. But at least I won't have pissed anyone off with the ranting, since comment counts suggest no one read this.


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(no subject)

Oct. 1st, 2007 | 12:53 am
location: Oxford

eating dark chocolate reduces fatigue in CFS/ME patients.

Sometimes it feels like there is a god, and he/she's mocking me

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Revealed! Global transexual conspiracy!

Aug. 10th, 2007 | 12:45 pm

China tries to destroy by confusing its toddlers' understanding of gender

Dear, (male, bearded) Lord- what will they think of next? The world is ending. The sky is falling. I find the thought of their parents expressions entertaining

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Liberals' cautious conservatism

Aug. 5th, 2007 | 11:11 am

Interesting article here abut the spread of AIDS in Africa. doesn't say much I didn't know before, (though it has nice stats and quotes) and is out of date; particularly depressing because it predicts things getting bad, but reality served up worse. This little passage amused me though:

Concise summary of the problem, yes, but also a little revealing. Why does the article writer think the women need excuses? Men will have affairs because of course it's 'inevitable', but women only do so when desperate and poor and morally vindicated: you'd steal a loaf of bread to feed you kids, right? etc. There's a little element of truth in that, As in parts of Jamaica where women find it hard to get well-paid work, they can rely heavily on handouts from multiple (concurrent and successive) lovers.

but still. tuh. reminds me of how Lara Croft in the Tomb raider film had to have her sex-with-semi-bad-guy scene excused by his being an ex boyfriend, whilst Bond can fuck whoever he wishes. These dregs of old morality like vestigal organs, amuse and annoy me. They bear no realtion to reality. They're also rather harsh on men, who come across as the helpless slave-to-instinct animals here, whilst women are the logical, tough, and self-aware survivors.

Anyway, must go flyer.

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